i hate my dad

i'd rather have no father than this asshole i call a dad.

he's abscent emotionally, wich is kinda the same as him not being there (cuz for me, he's not). for him, im only something he can use for his benefict, like a servant who cleans his house, like someone who achieves his frustrated dreams, like someone to get money from easily. he doesnt even know me at all, he doesnt even know what i actually like, who my friends are (he just says theyre idiots and never lets me go out with them), doesnt know what i want, he does not know who i am.

it hurts me to my core so much, i just want to be loved even for a bit, i dont remember him telling me that he loves me, he didn't event want a second child in the first place. the envy corrupts me so bad whenever i see someone being happy with their dad, getting spoiled, gifts, attention from them, being loved.

its not even that he cant give me attention, he just doesnt care about me, he just tells me to clean his house, cook for him, listen to him, wont let me go out even w friends a bit, do the sport he likes, complains, laughs at me, never be at any fathers day event, dont pay attention to me, take my money away, etc. 

genuinely, WHAT do i do. im going to therapy because of him and i only see him on weekends but he genuinely ruins my life so bad, there's nobody else in this world i despise more and i dont know what to do, i've tried to love him and forgive him but its useless, and i cant even do anything against him. life is doomed.