Alone at the End.

I hate the idea of the "male loneliness epidemic". It's seems to be a bunch of men who can't really parce out why or how they are alone. You're not alone because women or people don't like you. You are alone because you aren't trying to connect with those around you, especially women. You see people as tools not people. That being said, the feeling I'm about to discuss is one that may seem at first like it's reminiscent of the previous statement; it is not.

I've been sitting on this feeling for awhile. This feeling that I may end up alone. Not sure if this thought has found me in contempt or content. Most days I've come to accept it while other days I'm angry at the idea of something so heinous. People love me, they love who I am, they love who they think I'm going to be, and I'm sure they love when I'm around, but... Ultimately I feel like I'm going to (for lack of a better word) fuck it up. Maybe some people aren't meant to be with anyone for a long time. Maybe their goal is to simply bring love to others. Be their most authentic self while bringing out the rose-coloredness of others. That....I can find the peace in. 

The part that gets me worked up to even write this is, I'm a lover-boy. Constant wanting to romanticize life and the people around me. The deep connection of others is what drives me. I want everyone to feel what this is and that feeling is Love. That being said, I'm my own worst enemy. The constant want for something that should just happen naturally, yet I'm forcing it. That forceful nature to love and be loved, I don't know, it'll probably make me be at the very place I fought so hard to distance myself from. Alone. 

Maybe it's not meant for me. Maybe it is. Maybe I'm no different from the men I called out on earlier in this post. That's fair. I just think that if I made it this far... Something has to be out there for me. That love is just over the horizon. If not, that's okay too. As long as the actions I have presented get someone closer to that feeling of freedom. That feeling of Love.

Thank you for reading all of this.