i think the substance was gross (spoilers)(i hope there isn't any die hard substance fans here)

HA! MADE YA CLICK!

 i finished the substance and slept like a baby right after. i see why everyone was warning me about how icky it was tho. the body horror. yuck, but cool. it was alright. 

MINUS THE APPALLING AMOUNT OF ASS SHOTS. ISTG HALF OF THIS MOVIE WAS JUST SUE'S ASS. AM I COMPLAINING.....yes, i am, actually. had to zone out during her workout thing cuz i felt like a fucking pervert watching these close-up shots of her shaking her ass for 3 minutes. the oversexualization was overstimulating, which might've been what they were going for, but i don't know why they would need to go that crazy with it. probably to make you forget some of the plot holes.

there were some parts of the movie that made me raise an eyebrow. how come elisabeth is never caught leaving her apartment. i understand she's old news, but still. sue took over her apartment, and ur telling me none of her neighbors see sue and elisabeth leaving and are like... what's going on. also sue came out of nowhere, right. doesn't she need a backup story and proof of it? she's famous, there's no way there were NO paparazzi getting on her ass tryna find out shit abt her. the lack of paparazzi and obsessive fans is kinda....unrealistic.

also, sue wasn't a younger version of elisabeth. maybe career-wise, but she was genuinely her own person, which threw me off, cuz i excepted for it to literally be elisabeth vs. herself. THAT WOULD'VE BEEN SO FIRE CUZ THEY COULD'VE BEEN CONNECTED. SHARING MEMORIES AND SHIT. ELISABETH WOULD DESTROYED HERSELF SO QUICKLY CUZ OF HOW BAD SHE YEARNS FOR THE SPOTLIGHT AGAIN. THEN ADD IN A PAPARAZZI GUY. A JOURNALIST. OR AN OBSESSED FAN.

im a genius. let me do the movie. 

i feel like sue/elisabeth never had any consequences to face in the real world besides falling apart in public (in the literal sense). they only battled each other behind closed doors, which i'd be ok with if they didn't fill most of the movie with SUE'S ASS. I'M BOREEEEEEEED!!!! NO OFFENSE, SUE. UR ASS IS GREAT, BUT I NEED SOME DRAMA.

which i got at the end sorta. kinda tuff. 

2.5 out of 5 stars