i loved a girl...

well... yk when the lonely unsocial perfect girl in animes talk to the the unsocial boy?... tht happened to me... and we become friends, but after a while, i start feel tht i love her alot and also i thought she did to but she was scared to confess ig... well her life is so fcked up she has a really terrible past, but i loved her sm i was ready to handle anything frrom her anything... till i try to confess... i wasnt sure while i was doing tht but she kept insisting on me to continue so i did and i confessed... she said she loves me too but... after one day she came bck like nothing happened and told me tht shes not sure abt her feeling and tht she needs time and i told her tht ui dont want relationships!! letting her know my feelings is just enough for me i told her to talk her time even if its forever and she agreed and we continue normaly... then she travelled for a while... the first day she was far away she start acting weird ... more like she wants me or somthing... and the... she said tht she loves me.... and told me tht she did before acc but she was scared tht if i really loved her or no... and we got in relationship ... we were so happy we talked abt alot we wanted alot we never got bored ... but before she came bck from her trip by one day... she started to ignore me alot... act weird.. cold more like dry... i kept asking her whats wrong and she didnt answer... she told me theres nothing... she kept acting happy lying she thought tht i cant feel her but i did... after a week i got really fcked from the way she act, so i insist alot this time ... and i wish  i didnt...... she told me tht she acc lost interest in the middle of the relationship ... but she didnt want to tell me and she wanted to keep force her self to do anything for me bc i deserve... she said she really like me and care abt me but her feelings are not stabled... and guess what... i didnt get oissed at all i take it sooo easy to not make her sad... she said she still wanna be friend and she likes me but its the first time she talk to guy so she dont know what she want...  i said k as u want... but she still want me to be jealouse and care alot even tho she is not my gf... she still wants me to act like iam not destroyed from inside... iam really scared for her to love someone else... i really want her so bad i want her to be suure tht she love me i really want her she is amazing so amazing i cant lose her i want her as my gf...now... all she wants me to do is to be with her and talk abt silly stuff without relationships... well... i still love her.. and anything she want.