SHOWER THOUGHTS SEXISM AND RACISM EDITION

who invented racism, like fr. who was the first person that was like "you are a different skin color i dont like you" or "you are a different skin color so you are my slave" same with sexism, it has never always been "women are less than us so why are people so content on thinking that.

there are a few things i belive greatly and with all of my heart. 1. we should noahs arc but differently, we should kill off everyone, every living human being should be killed. the bad people of this world need to be exterminated, but you cant just, kill evil, thats not how that works, you could reproduce, have a child raise them correctly, and they could still be evil, so we need to exterminate teh human race, including myself, im not some hypocritical narssicist (i am) animals have it right i think, there is no right and wrong in animals, aside from humans. animals act on only what they belive, dolphins belive in rape, straight up, i think that is bad. but they have never had as big a problem as humans. i think that the smartness that we cling to is what makes us dumb, it blinds us, there is no such thing as right or wrong and good or evil. if an animal does something, and another animal doesnt like it, theyll fight, and whoever wins  wins, thats just how animals work, it is simply the better option 

having said all that i dont belive it entirely, i belive that there is good and evil, and that good is evil and evil is good, what that means, is if there is a being that is 100 percent good, not jesus christ, not any god or belif, if there is someone that is 100 percent good, they are evil, they will not help someone evil to make both of them good, whereas in my eyes, if someone has done something bad and comes seeking my help then i will help them. it is what i belive in.

another thing i belive in and love about history is the egyptians. 1, out of every country or anyone who owned slaves, they were statistically treated the best (according to https://scienceinpoland.pl/en/news/news%2C29410%2Cegyptologist-life-slaves-egypt-was-not-hard-we-think.html) and they litterally worshiped women, beliving that they were closer to god because they gave life. i think thats magical and how it should be. Worshiping someone who has something you dont and that you can never get. thats pretty cool.

i dont really understand racism, i dont understand sexism. i think sexism was born out of mans defence. this is something ive thought about a lot, but when im doing something, working, digging a hole, building something if you come up to me and ask if you can do it, i will instinctivly say no, man or woman, if i am building something and i dont know you, i am more inclined to belive that i have more skill and can do it better, and also that if it fails, it will be my fault not yours. i have since grown a bit and observed when i want to do that and i observe people that would help in thatt situationa nd if they do something that is wrong ill ask why they do it that way and either correct them, or theyll have a good reason that makes sence and i will learn.

men are dense because often they grow being taught to provide, i want to provide for people around me, not becaiuse im a man and i feel like its my duty but because i feel like i can and should, and thats where sexism comes from at least i think, "i feel like i should provide" and when a woman would tell a man its okay i can help, he feels attacked, and thats where sexism was born many many years ago and it was evolved from that.

as someone who is now broke and paying off debt (only like ~2500 left thank god), i still do not like to get paid for by other people, i will refuse with a few slight exceptions, 1 a friend, if a friend wants to provide to me something cheap (~8 dollars or less) then i might say yes, if its one of my best friends (shoutout one of my better friends) who gets paid and works A LOT then i will ask him to buy me a snack or something when we are out, i still get self consious about it so i dont do it all the time, but also if we go out to eat and i dont get anything and i dont ask, sometimes he will make me buy something on him and i wont push as much, because i know ill get him back later and we will bounce back and forth, and the last exception is family that is older than me, no i will not let my cousin thats younger than me pay for me in anysituation, but my uncle, sure. 

i feel teh need to (when i had moneyand definetly in the future) provide for people and friends regardless of gender, and i have since grown to observe and react differently so that i am not sezist or think "you are not better than me"

still its a weird consept that i dont understand all the way of sexism and racism