because i liked you

(a.e. housman, published 1936)

because i liked you better
than suits a man to say,
it irked you, and i promised
to throw the thought away 

to put the world between us
we parted, stiff and dry; 
'goodbye,' said you, 'forget me.'
'i will, no fear,' said i.

if here, where clover whitens
the dead man's knoll, you pass,
and no tall flower to meet you
stands in the trefoild grass, 

halt by the headstone naming
the heart no longer stirred,
and say the lad that loved you
was the one that kept his word. 

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*knoll = hill/mountain

*trefoiled = covered in clover plants

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this poem was written by alfred edward housman, and published by his brother after his death, in the 1936 collection "more poems." housman references an unrequited love he held for a man called moses jackson, who he met at university. housman's relationship with jackson is the subject of many of his poems, and he called jackson "the man who had more influence on my life than anyone else."

i love this poem, and housman's works in general, because they voice a very familiar heartache and loneliness that a lot of queer people face. he doesn't hide his queerness through heavy metaphors or innuendos, instead he outright addresses it. it doesn't seem to me that he views his love as something shameful. instead, it's portrayed as innocent and sweet. his feelings may not be reciprocated, but he wishes the best for jackson.

a.e. housman's earnesty will forever make him one of my favourite poets. he always tugs at my heartstrings with the simplest words. if u haven't already, pls check out his work!!