what have i been doing with my life

WARNING MIGHT BE HARSH TO READ 

i feel like a piece of shit and useless im turning 15 and dont even know what to do with my life yet im so depressed and locked in this stupid city were there is NO alt people if so they are posers i just want friends i wish yall lived were i did i live NEAR dallas tx yeah im exposing myself (no thats not my exact city) and im so hyper and hated were i live for no reason people just hate on me to hate on me and ive had bad things happen to me in the past 

when i was 3 my parents divorced and i lived more at my dads house who lived with his parents and i was rlly fat then and the grandparents didnt want to feed me and bused me so i always snuck food so thats why i gained alot of weight also bc i had sleep apneia and no adhd meds which makes me eat alot and sleep apneia makes me gain. hey i lost alot of weight and inches now tho i look maybe 150 now (no im way more) and my dad died when i was 9 so now i live with my mom and im much happier and better (:

WARNING FOR THIS PARAGRAPH (huge warning)

a few years ago i think im 6th grades my stepbrothers threatend to kill my dogs and and smash my head into the fridge if i didnt let them touch me innapropriatly so yk i let them for a sec thats my lifes biggest regret i hate on myelf everyday for it but they werent joking about the threats and it was a whole court and police thingy and i almost got in trouble but they did but apparently not they deserve to get sent away they are AWFUL people and they also tried kissing me and climbing on me dude and they also flirt with random little girils or older girls on roblox and its disturbing asf and they always say "ur gay do u wanna see my dick" AND AGAIN THEY ARE 11 YEARS OLD IN 5th grade AND IM FUCKING LIKE 4-5 years older then them (i cant do math)

ok if ur still reading 2 months ago some guy tried catfishing me but i knew he was a 40 yr old man and he keeps making new online accounts and people keep asking why im hating on him AFTER they know hes a pedophile like what the fuck why dose everyone hate on me for hating on someone who is a AWFUL person and now my friend wants to make a FBI report on him wtf i wouldnt bc i would get exposed to the world it kind reminds me of the stepbrother thing.

anyways im emotional disturbed and traumatized from what people do to me and im scared to go in pubic bc old people lick there lips at me or cat whistle and bc i look diff then any other kid the boy teachers always target me or call me up to there desks and like obsess over me and my friends like what the actual fuck is there deal with alt people its very disturbing.