Why the friends are so difficult??

Bro like, why is that difficult to make friends now?

English isn't my native language, sorry, now:

"But son, normal kids hang out, why you are always in your room?" Yeah like, because all people around me FKING DISAPPEAR????

Always the same shxt, starts new school year, I make 1-2 friends and by the time I LOSE LIKE 6 FRIENDS. I'm not good at math, but I don't think that's possible. And by that I'm in in my room watching some anime shxt or listening to MCR while drawing waiting for my phone to buzz one "hiii", but no is just my message to they rotting waiting for response and why i lose friends? That's right, because I stopped sending the first message.

Let me refrase the first line, why is so difficult to maintain friendship? 

And irl it's ...quite different, IRL PEOPLE IS FKING STUPID. sorry for that lol. "But why?" Yeah now I explain, people irl (that i met, I know that the dude above us give people more neurons) is really.. one theme talk, or their new x thing or their x thing OR THEIR X THING, i like to study history as a hobby and why I'm weird for talk about the letters of Maria pardo Bazán (thing that we studied in class) or literally the celestine.

I talk about anything and people don't talk back or just change the subject about something that we talk every single day, and If I don't talk (or not start a conversation) they will not talk for the entire day. Then in class they will not choose a thing to do, they need me for anything, inclusive choose a number, and more things that I won't relatable now, well with all sorry but I can't take it anymore. And going to the first line again IS FKING DIFFICULT TO MAKE NEW FRIENDS. I want a new group where I can talk I can learn about other people or just don't be the leader or clown (other problem that I dont want to explain now) just one there that people need and people that I need.

Now I will cry a lil okay? Thx

Since I lost my best friend I literally lose everything, all my social interactions, all my chats and many friends (they where his friends so...) I was a jerk, of course I deserved it but damn, nothing? Did I really need him in my way of life? Maybe..I'm just not used to make friends because of him and I'm searching the same feeling that I felt with him...oh god 

I'm the problem.