The need to change

I’m writing this because I know there are other people who feel the same way, and I’m trying to understand this from the perspective of someone’s who’s seen the other end of the tunnel.

Since I was little, I’ve always been criticised and I think that’s what left me feeling so lost. Growing up I constantly had the urge to change my appearance, whether it was getting a new piercing or cutting my hair just to satisfy an itch.

As ai’ve gotten older that feeling never went away, instead it just got stronger. My mind is always telling me to change someone about myself and now that i’m a legal adult, I feel like I finally can and a it’s gotten to the point where I’ve made a list, but at the same time ai feel like ai can’t fully change if people from my “old life” see it. I don’t know why, but I feel like they’re the reason i’m stuck… or maybe It’s all in my head. 

I don’t really know why I’m never satisfied and why i have the constant need to change.