What's basically happening in my life

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about how much I change depending on who I’m around.

Like, in school I act a certain way. Around friends, I act a little different. Online? That’s a whole other version of me. And sometimes I just sit there and wonder… which one is actually real?

It’s weird because I don’t even notice it at first. I just automatically adjust.. My jokes, my opinions, even the way I talk. Just to fit in. Just to not feel out of place.

But honestly? It gets exhausting.

There are moments where I want to say something but I stop myself because I feel like people won’t get it. Or I pretend to like something just so I don’t feel left out. And after a while, it starts to feel like I’m not really being myself anymore.

And for what?

To impress people who probably aren’t even thinking that deeply about me?

I think the hardest part is realizing that trying too hard to fit in can actually make you feel more alone. Because even if people accept you, it doesn’t feel real if you’re not being real.

I’m not saying I suddenly have everything figured out. I still overthink. I still care about what people think. I still have days where I feel like I’m not enough.

But I’m trying to be more honest with myself.

Trying to speak up more. Trying to like what I actually like without feeling embarrassed. Trying to stop asking, “Will they like this?” and start asking, “Do I like this?”

Maybe that’s where it starts.

So yeah… who am I trying to impress?

I don’t fully know yet. But I’m starting to think the answer should be: no one.

Just me.