Feels Like

You ever get the feeling like nothing will ever be magical again? I dunno. Even when I experience new things these days, there's no wonder or grand excitement. That sort of rush one gets when they have their first kiss, or the first time you got an airplane sort of thing. I just don't feel things that way anymore, and haven't in so many years. I yearn for it. I search for it. But, I often feel like maybe life squeezed it out of me through stress/rough experiences? Maybe i'm just viewing life through an anhedonic lens and i'm jaded? I dunno. No one will read this here, so I figured i'd just type it out since it's been on my mind for a while.