MORE RAMBKINGS OF A DRUNK LOSER

I wish I could have what you have.

I wish I could be what you are.

I wish I was desired like you.

I wish that care, that someone puts into you.

That compassion 

That desire to know. 

That desire to understand 

Thay desire to connect.

I wish I could have that.

But I also dont. 

I dont want to be happy 

I want to be hurt.

I crave to be ruined.

I need to be used.

But im fucking sick. 

To death. 

Of not

Being.

Loved.