Me and my friend…

After we make out I feel like my mouth and body is infected in a weird way. The fact that it’s touched another man in such an intimate way is so disgusting. I’ll hate the idea of kissing another boy then I just feel like I need to kiss him or like do him or whatever in the moment and then the urge grows and then I act on it and it feels amazing in the moment and then I just sit or lay there and kinda just start to spiral cuz I can’t believe that I would let myself get like that and I just feel so disgusting, how can I look at my body knowing it’s been in another man’s, how can I eat from the same mouth that’s touched another man’s, how can I live in a body that craves the touch of another body with the same type of body as I do.