PLEASEE HELP MEEE

This is a long one and especially crazy for a first post, but so much is happening right now and I really need some outside opinions and possibly maybe even friends. Feel free to input literally anything I am happy to converse. 

Okay so there is this person in my life who I have been friends with for a very long time, but recently (for like the last year or so) they've been really weird towards me and a few of my friends. For context, they are a neurodivergent, non-binary person with an (allegedly) abusive/mean father, and their personality is along the lines of that old 2020 kind of humour. I am also a neurodivergent man with a complicated home life who occasionally does drag (relevant later trust) And for even more context, both me and my girlfriend are kinda in a strange sort of threesome open relationship with only one other person.

So for some recent background, I've kinda been a chud loser my whole life up until about a year ago, as well as a pretty hefty user of substances, and I have had a girlfriend for longer, which has been established to this person, who I will from now onwards refer to as Slimer. Around about the time that I started to become a more mature person and not as much of a junkie, they started to make subtle comments that were really off-putting, like really s3xual flirting, and unprompted comments about weird threesome ideas with me and my girlfriend. As a time line, this began in like term 1 or 2 of our school year, and I ignored it until the middle of term 4 because I had bigger things to deal with, and because it wasn't until then that it really escalated. 

Okay so the first thing that really caught my attention was the fact that during this year, I had been like almost completely sober (a known fact), and yet they had been continuously making comments such as "oh I wish you would buy me weed because I don't have a job" and asking me to supply them other things like alcohol and stuff. Even after I like outright told them that I was really uncomfortable with them asking stuff like that, especially in contexts such as AT SCHOOL and near teachers, which I thought would be common sense, they didn't even try to stop saying that kind of stuff. Then one time we were on a walk to the shops with my whole friend group, and I was on the phone with my father. Out of nowhere, as I wasn't even talking about or to them, they quite loudly said "is this where (one of my old friends) got you hooked on pot?", and then laughed at me when I got worried because I was in fact ON THE PHONE WITH MY FATHER. After I had hung up, me and all of my friends had a go at them because that was absolutely not cool and they refused to apologise. 

It was a short while afterwards that the one-sided, delusional sort of romantic-ish s3xual advances started. I think it was around about the time when I kinda checked out of school and focused more on my relationship that my situationship (Pumpkin is what I will call her), Slimer and I were having a games night. Now Pumpkin and Slimer had dated previously (relevant remember this), however had broken up a while ago, though at this time they were kinda involved with each other (iykwim). By the time we were finished games it must've been like 3am, and P and S were doing their own thing and I was doing my own thing, until Slimer started having bad cramps and had to go to bed early. In their absence, me and Pumpkin hooked up for the first time, and in the morning Slimer found out. I think they must've at some point taken this as a sign that I was someone who was open to doing things with other people, and because I have previously been so removed from that typical teenager dating and flirting thing as a result of my chudness, I had no idea that the change in behaviour that came from this was them flirting with me, because I have had no experience being the one who is being crushed on.

So from this point onwards they started insinuating things with me, but nothing really happened because I was not and am not attracted to them, and aside from being at parties and maybe a peck on the cheek from truth or dare, that was it really for a bit. 

Until it came to their birthday party. It was a fairly small group of people, and they were all good people except for one of them, who will be called Poop because I really hate him. Basically it was me, Slimer, Poop, Pumpkin and two of my other friends. Those were all the people who stayed the night, which is where the trouble started, because only two of those people aren't romantically (unrequited or not) involved with eachother. Unfortunately we ended up playing that psycat version of truth or dare, which if you don't know has the option of being quite s3xual, and Slimer insisted that we play that version. I had to do a lot of things I regretted that night, however a key thing to know about me is that I feel really bad about saying no to people, and that I never really confront anyone about anything. So it unfortunately comes to the time where I have to kiss Slimer, and I try to make it just a small thing on like the side of their lips, but they like immediately grab my face and get really freaky with it. Which is like so shocking for me in the moment, because they didn't ask at all to french kiss me with tongue like some sort of frat boy, so I just kinda sat there. After that I lowkey made sure I didn't end up having to do that again, and moved to sit near Pumpkin, away from where the others were sitting, and sat out of the rest of the game. Then the other like main group decided they would play spin the bottle (I don't know why they had to pick such 1990s college party games but it was Slimers birthday so we all decided to just let them have it), and heftily encouraged the two of us to join back in. Given the 'saying no' issue, I just kinda slunk back in, and they eventually convinced Pumpkin to join too. After a few rounds of luckily missing out, it ended up being me and Pumpkin, and given our strange situationship we were okay with making out, just not in front of that crowd, so we went to a corner by ourselves, only to go five seconds before realising both Poop (just one reason why we hate him) and Slimer were like obsessively staring at us and watching. Very obviously and rightly weirded out, we both then chickened out of the game ourselves, and so on so on. That was like the first kind of sign I got that Slimer was at the very least like attracted to me or something, because after that it all kind of escalated. 

This basically continues up until the end of the school year, and I managed to avoid them the whole holidays. 

Except for one unfortunate afternoon where I end up stuck with them in like the shopping centre in the city, because they wanted my help picking out make up for them. While we are there a purchase some hair dye to redo my hair later in the week, with no intention or mention of doing anything to their hair for them. While we were waiting at the bus stop to get back to our respective homes, they excitedly ask if I could dye their hair for them back at my house, given that we had nothing else to do and my parents were away on a work trip. I said maybe, but wouldn't you want to wait to go to a professional or buy some bleach, because I owned none at that moment, and they have quite dark brown hair. They said they didn't care, and because I felt bad saying no, I told them sure. At this point it was meant to be just a quick thing of: paint the dye on, wait an hour or so, and then wash it out, because there wasn't much I could do about the colour showing up or designs without bleach, which I told them, and they said it was fine. I decided to dye my eyebrows at the same time, because it would be easier with two people. In the process of putting literally a minuscule amount of dye on, they ended up flicking about half of the dye on the brush into my sink and onto my floor, which I understand, it's a messy process. What I don't understand is not only not letting me up to clean it off before it really stains everything, but not apologising for literally turning every white surface in the bathroom purple, and continuing to do it, whilst saying "Oh it's fine you can clean it up, and purple is a nice colour anyway". Like I would like just a smidgen of respect for my property in a house that isn't yours and you don't come by that often. Now by the time that it had been an hour since the dye on their hair had been sitting, I told them that they should probably wash it out now because at this point it was nearing 7pm and I had to start cooking dinner for myself and I lowkey didn't want them staying over. They, however, insisted that if we left it on for like another hour or so, it would obviously show up more so we should clearly just do that. They were insistent on leaving it on longer, and I didn't want to send them walking home with unwashed hair dye still in their hair, so I said fine, but you have to be quick when washing it out so you can still get home, and they said "Oh, why don't I just stay the night and make it easier then", to which I replied that I wasn' t allowed to have people over for the night whilst my family was away, because that was true, and they said "That's fine, just ask and I'll stay."

Long story short they ended up staying over. I went to wash out the dye in my eyebrows and decided to have a shower just to get at least some alone time, and told them that "I'd be quick so they weren't sitting in my room all alone for too long", and they then proceeded to invite themselves INTO THE BATHROOM WHILST I SHOWERED, insisting that they just 'wouldn't look'. Later on, it was time for them to wash their own hair out, with what everyone knows should be cold water, and I went to leave the room, until they stopped me and said "wait could I get some help with the back of my head", which seemed understandable, until I saw what kind of weird bullshit strategy they were using to hold the shower head up to their head, opting to not have it stuck to the wall. I just kinda gave up and said sure, and started to help, but every single time that the water, which was lightly cold, touched their skin slightly they would genuinely let out a loud as fuck scream, and I asked them nicely if they could not scream because my little sister was sleeping (it was like around midnight at this point, and then they proceeded to just keep doing it anyway. Once they were out of the shower, they asked me to hand wipe the dye stains on their body that wouldn't have been there if they washed out the dye like a normal person, and I was really uncomfortable with that, yet they continued to act ss thought me not doing so would be the end of the world, and I just wanted this person out of my house at this point, so I just gave in. 

Not only were they inconsiderate of literally anything that wasn't related to them, but they straight kicked me out of my bed and took all my pillows and blankets so I had to sleep on the couch with nothing after all that was over.

Shortly after this I was having a board game night with my friend group, and brought up what had happened, and proceeded to find out that they had been doing weird shit with Pumpkin too, such as not listening or respecting her when she said that she wasn't interested in them or having s3x with them, only for Slimer to literally just do whatever they want anyway, and repeatedly asking Pumpkin to get back together with them, and continuing when she clearly says no. This is a very common underlying theme when it comes to them. They ignore, belittle and disrespect everyones boundaries, but when the same happens to them, we are all expected to mould our lives and behaviour around what they want out of us, or how they are feeling that day and if anyone so much as mentions something that makes them 'uncomfortable', well you might as well have killed their cat or something. Not to mention this really self-centred tendency to absolutely go off on you if you even mention that you like something that they like, because all of a sudden you won't be 'allowed' to enjoy that thing because as a result of their interest in it, it 'belongs' to them. 

Another big red flag for me is that they really only ever talk about themselves, and expect sympathy and compliments no matter what they are saying, otherwise you end up stuck in this un-winnable argument because they refuse to see things from another perspective, and are so wound up in their own personal narrative about anything that it's somehow impossible to think about anything else. They refuse to see me in any other light than the caricature that they have created in their head, which comes out more often than they think, in calling me things like 'stupid' and a 'crackhead'. It's so hypocritical and humiliating for both me and them, because sometimes it's made me feel like that is all that I am, but at the same time it's so clear to literally everyone around me that I'm not that. Not only am I not an idiot, but in some forms sometimes (trying not to be mean) they can be a bit of one. They are one of those people who are really good at maths, and I am one of those people who are really good at english and writing, but they shift this into 'I'm the best at all of the subjects' and they turn me into someone who sucks at all of the subjects. 

All of this really specific, personal and hurtful slander is such an interesting choice when they then also pretend to be friends with people who barely know who they are just to seem cooler or 'more interesting' in my eyes, and also talking about me so incredibly often with some new friends that they made at the start of this school year, which I know about because I am also friends with a couple of people in that group. From what I've heard none of it is negative or anything like that, but I still have no idea why I am such a common point of discussion. Another thing that my 'inside source' told me is that they've shared pictures that they have of me during the time that I was really struggling mentally with those people, some of which I don't know at all, without my consent or even letting me know. Like, not to be crazy, but I feel like that's like a little bit rude to do??

Anywho, that's been my big long weekly rant, and I actually enjoyed writing it. Please feel free to make any comments on any part of this, I need outside opinions !!

:)