asexuality and why i hate it

i feel like people dont talk about this very much but asexuality , especially the way I experience it, can GENUINELY be torture

people could have a crush on me or drop hints and sometimes (usually) it makes me think that I HAVE to have a crush on them too or I have to like confront it straight on

its so awkward especially since im not on the "no attraction" level, I still FEEL a tiny bit of it,, but i feel wrong when I dont feel it at the "right time"

it makes it worse knowing that people just like to be romantically interested in me randomly,, idk why i pull so much bruh im so confused

holy ramble 🤣🤣🤣 ok I need to get out with the laugh emojis