shame / scent

sometimes when we're in class and i'm sitting next to you i'll shuffle my chair closer to yours so i can lean my head on your shoulder. part of it is because you're a good pillow. part of it is because i don't know if i could go more than a day without the smell of you clogging my windpipe and making itself at home in my lungs. i annoy you so you'll hurt me - so you'll bring me closer to you and allow me to inhale you like you inhale nicotine. i am so fucking ashamed but i can't fucking bring myself to rectify it.

- d