some poems

glass breaks into hundreds of little pieces

primed to hurt you

no warning needed

ceramic,

ceramic breaks into big pieces

to be put back together

over and over- cracks painted gold

who am i?

if i had freedom i'd go into the ocean

let Bootup's tears take me

something stops me

if i had love i'd never want again

i'd wake up at 8 am and never delude myself

if i had love i'd be something else entirely

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my hands are shaky

and impossible to hold

slick are my palms

kiss me despite knowing i will leave

know that we have no choice in this end

and love me despite holding the knife.

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if pain can be held

i hold it

if i can be held, why not hold me?

if my love were enough

then god-

trust that i will fall through the gaps in your fingers

trust that my claws are already under your skin

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There is a sound when you strain your eyes. I used to measure it against the darkness when my grand-mere woke me up at 5 am for sesame street. The brights fuzz from the television would burn as my mind worked to make sense of the colours and dialogue.

Everyone's skin smells different.

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if i was someone better i would

walk with grace

if i was an angel i would

run my hands along the concrete until they bleed

if i was a talented person i would

play music until i was told to stop

if my blood ran hot

and my face was smooth

i would grab hold of my lover and carry them in my arms

i am a single dying star

i am a single dying star

the air around me sucked thin

light escapes me as i lose my mass

i have never known safety

the concept has never passed my lips- for i have none