Does it ever get better? Kinda :V

Gonna dump a bit here, so if you don't care for that kind of thing, I'd skip this one lol.

I don't know how to ease into it, so I'm just going to say that I've been depressed and lonely for a really long time, always had trouble focusing in school, always struggled to make friends, and found it difficult to get into things. I was a pretty worthless kid, and now that I'm going into early adulthood, my life kind of fell apart. On top of my own mental and health problems, I also have familial problems/responsibilities to juggle and the stresses of being Hispanic under the current presidency.



All that is to say I kinda reached an impasse in my life where it felt really sink or swim, and to be blunt, I totally crumbled. Flunking my senior year of high school, the weak social life I had fell apart. I honestly just rotted in bed for a long time and began to consider just ending it all. With nothing left to lose, I thought I'd at least try therapy, and it honestly didn't help for a long time if I'm being real. (I want to note that it is helping me now, though it is just one of those things you have to stick with.)



Fast forward to now, some I don't even know how many months later, my life hasn't gotten any better, but things still feel different now; it's hard to explain, but I feel alive again. My life situation is still shitty, but I feel a desire to fight to try and make things better, yk?? I know that's corny, but it's better than being suicidal. And for once in my life it's not all talk; I'm keeping a pretty good sleep schedule, I'm finding hobbies I like, I'm learning to cook, I'm helping around the house, I'm going to get my driver's license and apply for a job, I'm trying to spark my social life back up, I'm honestly just taking much better care of myself in general!



I want to keep this momentum up; I want to enjoy my life someday even if I don't right now. I'm still depressed; I still have all these issues. I'm still sad and lonely, but I try to make things better, and I think that satisfaction from knowing I'm trying is enough to keep me going. I feel hope. Take care.