TERF RADFEMS COME DEBATE PLZZZ

can someone explain the thought behind trans exclusionary radical feminism? being trans intrinsically defy gender norms (obviously not all trans people, i can get why radfems dont like binary trans people cause they indirectly reinforce the same gender norms they want to eradicate), and the main argument i hear is that an amab person, even if they go trough whatever process, will never understand how it feels to be afab (it also confuses me why they always talk about trans women and say their transition is based on misoginy but not about trans men), and i completely disagree on more than one level: for starters there are more and more people who start transitioning early, and the experience of being female doesnt and will never only be related to the assigned sex at birth but it will mostly be based on what ur socialized at, i started socially transitioning at 15 and since that im recognized by EVERYONE as a woman in all the spaces of my life, that goes without saying that i can imagine and understand the struggle of being a woman in nowdays society, ofc i lack the understanding of the struggles of period, pregnancy etc, but in all other aspects beyond that i experience the life a normal girl would.

It also confuses me that if the point is to eradicate the concept of gender, why do their argument are mostly based on a difference of sex? isnt sex also a gender norms, isnt penis=male vagina=female also a social construct we invented to perpetrate a sistem based on oppression??

I can get why they could say its based in misoginy cause binary trans women tend to, at least in some way, go along the social gender norms, but it would be impossible not to, we live in a society where most of our identity is constituted by the gender we are socialized as, it would be utopistic to complain that trans women are misoginistic autogenophylic men solely based on the fact they want to be socialized as women (and also i wanna ask all the terf radfems, if you have long hair, why do you, i'd say its cause u like it, it makes u feel comfortable in urself and it makes u feel beautiful, its a shitty ass example but that is the same for whatever things us trans women change about ourselves, the thought process isnt "i want this cause i have to cosplay a woman" but its "i tried other things but this hairstyle, type of clothing, way of walking or talking, makes me feel more comfortable with myself")

The thoughts are all over the place, i hope its kinda comprehensible, and i hope someone will respond without being a meanie^^