It took me so long, but this is the last blog post EVER. For real this time.

The last time y'all saw me was a bitter ending. The last time you'll see me is a good ending. Since this will be my last blog post ever, I better write it down properly so everyone understands that I'm doing the right thing.

I'm gonna be informal AF so I can get my point across without thinking too much about it. So, what happened since last time? The label revived then died (What an unfunny reference!) before I could update the website and write this blog post in time, and maybe that was a good thing.

Anyways, here is a recap of my life since then.

I released antagonist, my life became worse and worse, I made enemies, I was alone and hopeless, and life was miserable. Then, I had a moment where I called with Remilia 'Motherfucking...!' Scarlet and told her why I was so sad.

She said that she understands how it feels like to lose everything that gave you and your life a meaning. I know that shit too because of Scarlet Death, I was there and I also saw her thrive after losing everything. Now she owns Fumocraft? I don't know but they made their own minecraft server that's somewhat successful. Anyways.

She told me that I shouldn't quit music, or shouldn't quit being Sonic4. At the time, I told her that music and stuff doesn't bring me enjoyment anymore, and that there was no reason to continue, so I was gonna continue working to retire, or drop miscellaneous music in Alice98 Test Records or something. She said fine, and the call ended for me to think about that stuff. I didn't think about it at all.

Like, I don't know how many days later, but I woke up one day like it's 2023 again. I was back to my prime, and I had it in me to bring everything back to the way it was before the destruction. Yukari had an unused backup server from before, so I renovated it and moved everyone back in. Everyone was happy to see the old sonic4 again, and everyone was hyped for this new era of Sonic4 Test Records that didn't last for long. 

We got two compilations, one solo, one community made. If you wanna know their contexts, go read them on my website. I'm not gonna type the whole shit that everyone already knows about.

I was slowly working to fix my website too, and I'm still working on it despite killing the label. 

Anyways, where did it all go wrong? I don't know, but there were several controversies like there always is. Me crashing out, me leaving, me tryna be alone and happy. You know, I once tried to leave the internet to live a peaceful life alone. When that happened, I was actually happy AF. I didn't get mad or sad once.

"The internet corrupts my soul. I'm trying to get back to my original self, and be happy in real life." -me to reimu when that happened

I was forced to come back because of my girlfriend and because of some label work, but that harsh comeback was kinda good. It also didn't last for long, because chat was really really dead. And I was really really bored. Like, I endured 24/7 boredom that none of y'all can handle.

I got sick too. I was really lonely and mentally unstable, really alone, really unhappy, really scared, mentally decaying. You know the whole shit. Then the last incident happened, the one that killed sonic4 for real. That night when Sanae "He died at future funk 100%" Kochiya happened.

My brain was for real fried. Y'all don't get that shit, I had the harshest nightmares when I "died" apparently. Time wasn't a thing, Harsh ass noise, pain, filling my ears and eyes. There where clarities where I scrolled on my phone and ate chocolate, and go back to the nightmares.

I woke up to (Motherfucking) Ran saying "holy shit it's a miracle you can talk" like they for real thought I was gonna be fucked up and eventually recovered back into life. Like, hell nah it was the opposite. I woke up good but mentally worsened alone more and more.

Ran is cool af tho. She's like Yukari but furry version, but also cool version. She was my caretaker when I was sick and stuff. I verified future funk (the nerfed gd level), I finished fixing VaultKid, but highkey I was still scared and alone. No one was helping me for real. When I went outside, I felt better. When I stopped being sick, I had a big diharrea or whatever you spell that shit. 

I don't know, these details probably are useless to the narrative. Anyways, I don't remember a lot of what happened since then. I had exams and shit. My memory sucks, you already know.

But, here is where the latest and last controversy happened. I was gone from the server but I was angry because of the disrespect of the deadness of the server and the carelessness of the members. I woke up to the bullshit I was dealing with and being degraded for it. I said like "If I can't change the outcome, then I gotta do that shit myself."

I was gone, but knowing that they (my old crew) was still out there, that made me angry AF. I kept rejoining the server, throwing hands, trying to hate on people or make them hate me. Stressing them out basically. But, the shit I was saying was pure facts. 

There is NO HOPE for Sonic4 Test Records, and for the old crew. As long as the same people are forced into the same place, there won't be a different outcome. Nobody cares about this shit, nobody is gonna care about this shit, and it keeps getting ruined more and more.

I wanted to ban everyone and delete the server, but Yukari didn't let me to that because she owns the server. Imagine it like this, I own the house on the land that Yukari owns. That type shit.

The Careborn was known for also hating on these "old crew" but suddenly he changed his mind and acts like he cares or something. He didn't want these people to go their seperate ways, and he had plans to make a NEW server for these people to stay in. 

I told him that his hope is basically bullshit. It doesn't matter who the owner is, these people simply don't care about each other anymore. If they disappointed me, they are gonna disappoint you too. Careborn, I am literally trying to save your ass from the pain I suffered. Did you not learn the lesson from me?

Anyways, I was mad AF and I forced Yukari to give owner to Careborn because I don't know. He wasn't gonna use my server and make it an archive or something. I don't give a shit about anything and I wanna leave ASAP so we did that.

I sent my last messages to the announcement channel, and people prolly didn't get it or ignored it or something. Y'all are so fucking stupid bruh. We all left then. Me, Yukari, Alice, Reimu, Sanae, we're all gone and boom nothing after that. I blocked almost everyone and I don't want any of my old crew to contact me again. They're a curse of false hope that kills me more and more.

I was sad AF, like I released a new Protagonist album, perfectly accurate to the situation I'm in. I cried in the car a lot. Like yeah, it was my choice to leave these bitches forever but I was hurt because of the pain that I felt. Like, THESE motherfuckers are the reason why I'm not the same passionate loving and good ass guy I was. It's my destiny to rot alone and die alone. For real.

I removed myself from the equation. If y'all think I'm the problem, see me not become the problem. Deadass I'm calling that whatever The Careborn did for that new server is also gonna fail. I'm trying to SAVE you motherfuckers by saying "RUN AWAY GO AWAY LEAVE" because this group needs to end. Without me, y'all will have happier lives. That's why I'm saying "I wish everyone forgot me" because, because of me that they are also suffering. My existence brings suffering to y'all.

Like how it started with me and Yukari aka Just Yuri back in 2023, it ended with me and Yukari in 2026. Like the same shit but different sides. Instead of Yuri convincing me to start this test records business, it was me telling her that it was fucking over and that we gotta let that shit go, bruh.

I'm tryna recover from this bullshit that hurted me for so much. I'm busy with real life, like I barely got out of exam weeks, I got some sleep, I bought a new watch and it broke so now I gotta try to replace that with a better watch tomorrow. I hope that asshole seller accepts my trade offer. He said 2 year guarantee to that shit, and it's been like 2 days. And after that, I gotta lock in to my DRIVERS exam. Like, this saturday, I'm gonna take that shit. That book is still unread and I gotta read it a lot. After that, I don't know man. I'll go back to work. (Edit: I passed the exam, it's over)

The Protagonist microsite is all fixed EXCEPT for the gallery section. I'm gonna continue fixing it after all that real life stuff is done, like I said.

Then I gotta fix the rest of Sonic4 Test archives, which is gonna be difficult. I'm gonna have to remake Sonic4 Shop with the last remaining CDs I have, like anyone gives a fuck. I'm looking to give them away at this point, but who cares. Even tho I'm dead atleast my coffin of a website gotta look pretty.

Like, why kill Sonic4 Test Records? Why not just continue alone? BECAUSE OF THE COMMUNITY THAT RUINED IT FOR ME. Sonic4 Test Records was ALWAYS a community shit. And when the community is shit, the label is shit too. Besides, I made Memories Always Endure The Passage for a reason. I knew that one day I would hate the butcher music and somehow Sonic4 Test Records was gonna be ruined in the future. I made that personal label for myself so only the best and most personal stuff survive that change. Literally it's why it's named that. I'm BETTER OFF ALONE.

By the way, the friend that made those album covers quit now. The reason for that is because he has no time for that shit and he forgot how that blender app even works. From now on, I have the art direction and the album covers are gonna be real life photos or realistic photos, like edited stuff. That's a good news because I will be able to drop my last albums faster and with less worry. I don't give a shit that the album covers won't look like dreamy paintings anymore, they're gonna be MY album covers again. Like the OG days.

More bullshit news, Alice98 Test Records is not dead. Congrats to Alice Margablud for being a motherfucking fan project that was actually good. Careless, just for fun, and completely avoided all that controversy. Even then, I'm gonna say that my name, Sonic4, is a shitstain to anyone that carries it anywhere. Like, I know that I'm forever hated because of the controversy and everything. "Sonic4 is involved with this? BOOOOOOOO" type shit. I hate my fucking named because it's been ruined like that. Maybe I'm wrong but that's what it feels like.

It's safe to assume that VaultKid is fucking dead. Like, Sonic4 Test Records is dead, everyone is completely gone, so nobody is gonna release their bullshit there too. Not me too because I don't make bullshit anymore. There's no fun left, only some serious shit left.

My goal right now is to RETIRE.

Before I retire, I want to make these:

One more Eray Sarı album, with that iconic sonic4test profile picture as the album cover.

One more The Outsider album, with the broken building profile picture as the album cover.

Two more The Protagonist albums. Everyone already knows that one of them is 25 tracks and 100% complete, and the other is super long and unfinished still. I gotta lock in and finish that somehow. That's gonna be my last albums and after that, no more from me.

To Alice98, she's prolly not gonna continue that butcher business but if she does, I'll prolly be there. I miss the old Alice and I miss the old Sonic, that Endless Love sessions was the closest thing to the good old days we had. We will never have those good old days again, probably.

To my old crew, LIVE A GOOD ASS LIFE without me. Don't ever talk about me again, don't come near me ever again, and let of the bullshit that's also making you suffer, even if it's something you love. Whatever man, like, think about the stuff I said. I want my story to be a cautionary tale, because I don't want more people to suffer like I did. NO ONE IS GONNA GET IT UNTIL YOU SUFFER THE SAME PAIN! I'M LOOKING AT YOU TEWI, YOU'RE GONNA FALL ONE DAY TOO.

I got no personal hate for any of y'all. Like, I'm blocking y'all for my own safety. Move the fuck on, forget me, and just everyone, go fuck yourselves, alright? Remember my name when another controversy happens eventually, like I said. The same old people leads to the same old problems.

Also, CHANGE YOUR BANDCAMP BANNERS SO THEY DON'T LINK TO SONIC4 BANDCAMP ARTISTS PAGE. I left notes to all of your bandcamps and I unlinked from them. Read those notes, and like I said to james woz, change those motherfucking banners.

Follow my twitter for some updates and real ass opinions if you care about that:

https://x.com/sonic4test

Those tweets are gonna be deleted some day, like I said, I hate the internet and I want to be forgotten. 

I can't wait for the day when I release my last albums, update my websites for the last time, upload my last videos, delete my twitter if I wanna, and then log off from everything and be happy AF because nothing will keep me chained to the internet anymore. Except my girlfriend, IDFK.

Also, shoutout to @ChillReimu2000 on YouTube for being a motherfucking public archive of Sonic4 Test Records and related music to that. I don't know how some of those are popping off, but I'm glad. It's more accessible for people to see what garbage I produced in the past now.

Chill reimu is fucking chill. We are chill like that for real.

Also, honorable mention but KANYE WEST dropped BULLY and it's a fucking 10/10 album. LISTEN TO ALL THE LOVE, I WAS SCREAMING TO HOW GOOD IT IS. After trillions of years, the fans are finally smiling like crazy. I can't believe my ears that this shit is actually like the old kanye. PREACHER MAN, HIGHS AND LOWS, CIRCLES better be fucking fixed tho. Somebody better make a YEdit where those tracks are fixed later.

Maybe I'm gon be like him, drop the best album to fix my damaged reputation. I literally have the greatest unreleased stuff in my folders, and they're gonna be my last albums. Or maybe I lock in to make those dreams come true. I'm gon make myself proud, hopefully.

From nothing back to nothing, for real these 3 years of my life was a life lesson. I had my successes and I had the biggest falls too. These pains taught me a lot and hurt me a lot, and I can't fucking save these people that won't try to hear me out when I'm clear AF too.

So yeah. I fucking hate the internet and there is no hope for me lowkey. All I want is to be happy and peaceful IRL and alone, 'cause it's impossible for me to not be alone.

Also, shoutout to my real OGs. The ones that are dead or alive, I respect them all. I can't be with them anymore, but I lowkey was with them in the past. I miss the actual good old days but it's impossible to go back. The internet isn't the same, the people aren't the same, they grew up and gone now, ROBLOX is ruined too, you know it. I just want some greatness for the present and future, for real I'm hoping for that.

Also, I lowkey don't really care about Touhou or like it as much as I used to. Like, it's a dated thing now. Of 2024 or whatever. Just like how the literature club was the thing of 2023. I like the nostalgia of it tho, like sometimes. 

I'm so happy to be myself again. I don't know man, I'm fighting for the good fight. I hope some real OGs congratulate me for that, but they're probably not gonna. Everyone's dead nowadays.

Y'all prolly thought the last Sonic4 Blog was gonna be something crazy or like meaningful but nope. If I'm gonna say one last funny thing before hitting send, it's that I miss the real forgotten GOAT of the past, aka THE MOTHERFUCKING HERO ASTOLFO.

Y'all, one day I'm gonna drive to wherever the hell I want. Did you know that 2$guy moved away too? It's a shame that my real life friend group is dying too. Everything is ending, motherfucker...

I'm gonna have a party and keep my happiness now. I hope I don't dissapoint myself later on.

It's weird that I'm like, all alone at the end of a dead party.

What was I supposed to do?

EEEEH WHATABOUT YEAH WHATABOUT OOOUHH LOLOLOLOVEYOU BABEHHH LOVE YAH?

It was some good times. I get why some YouTubers quit at their peak, it's because they know they can't get much higher and don't wanna fall down to rock bottom and ruin themselves. Some YouTubers continue and they become irrelevant or not the same as they were. In my eyes, I'm both. Like, I messed up big time, but it took me like 3 seasons to understand that this shit was not really worth it anyways.

The Final Showdown was the last CLASSIC sonic4 album. Of season 1.

The WORST AND LAST OF SONIC4 was the last MODERN Sonic4 album. Of Season 2. (This was truly the last of Sonic4, edit: I made the artist of everything after that one ay right now.)

ANTAGONIST was the last Post modern Sonic4, aka AY album. Of Season 3.

Season 4 was cut too short. ay is the last album of Sonic4 Test Records Finally this shit is over.

Motherfuckers... Goodbye y'all. Like, I don't wanna end this blog post but I have to. Maybe I'll edit it later on when something note worthy happens. It's 2AM now and I'm tired. It's not like anyone's gonna read this till the end. If you did tho, I don't know what to say. Bye, I'm gone and want to be happy again.

BTW, Memories Always Endure The Passage website will be made someday. It's probably gonna be after all of this. And also also, don't fucking ask me about that censored club. It's not my business, it's censored's business. Okay, bye for real now. Censored doesn't exist by the way. I'm the real GOAT sonic4 forever. Fuck these fake ass bitches that ruined my life for real. Bye for real now.

Edit: I released one last album and I'm so proud of it.

Also, James Woz's and The Careborn's albums are gonna go to VaultKid. This is the most I can do, and don't come asking me to delete them from VaultKid too. I'm not gonna do that because they need to be archived, and also, Teat Thew is out there. He's constantly info dumping to MusicBrainz, even the deleted albums from WayBack Machine. And the musicbrainz mods are annoying AF, they're not gonna let you change those informations too most of the time. They don't let you change history. It's bullshit. If you don't believe me, go deal with MusicBrainz yourself. It's fucking cancer.

Okay, bye for now. I might come back to edit this later again.