in love again

I loved the guitar a long time ago.

Then it was replaced with a love for applause and seeking validation.

I forgot how to love guitar for a very long time. Thought I enjoyed it but was blinded for decades about "I have to be famous" and "I must be a guitar god!" I have never ever hid my aspirations from anyone, even if I was called a delusional loser. And that includes some family who called me that (sometimes behind my back but I find out!!!)

So what turned me around?

After I did the gig with Living Colour two years ago in NYC, the validation that I craved suddenly vanished. I no longer felt the need to impress people anymore. Quite honestly, nobody really cares how well you play. Musicianship all by itself doesn't sell. Gimmicks do. Being an obnoxious personality on YouTube and TikTok does. I'll still to being a musician, it's less stress.

Now that I'm finished with my tenth album (yes I make a big deal about that), I can look back on those sessions and think "Wow, I was very relaxed, no worries, just played guitar." And that, my friends, is how I fell in love with guitar again.

I still like applause though!