Hey Y'all

Hey all, how's you're morning going? I hope all is well. Things are going smoothly on my end. I started my medication last week, and had my first therapy session. I like it, I feel relieved when I leave. The medication is helping, I think. It's not a high dose so I'm not getting the full blown "magic" but I honestly feel like I have a bit more control over myself. I am far from "cured" and am learning the management through lots of practice. I purchased a therapy journal that uses CBT which is the same therapy that is used to treat BPD so its doing me well. I've found that after I make an entry it helps me to sketch and clear my mind. Part of the practice is to learn when our brain is tricking us into believing a falsehood. When we start to learn the emotions that trigger our anger then wd can learn to deal with that emotion and not jump to conclusions. Once we examine the emotion and situation then we can determine if our emotion being spent is something that will benefit us or deter us. If it isn't useful we throw it away. The sketching helps with the throwing the thought away portion. It clears my mind. I've started with drawing flowers. Nothing too fancy but everything that is soothing. The medication seems to be making it easier for me to stop and think about the situation. I feel like my brain has slowed down, but in a good way. I now have time to process when before I went from thought to thought making things worse by the second because each thought lead to a worse outcome. Now I feel like I think a little more productively than I did before. So here's to hoping it stays this way.

Now let's talk about some fun stuff!!! I got a new e-rig yesterday!!! I am in LOVE! For those who don't know, I smoke a lot of marijuana. In different forms and I even indulge in edibles. I recently went to the dispensary and purchased an oz of some delicious Rollins Sativa and I am so glad! I forgot to buy wax, however, so now I'm depleting my wax supply in happy sadness 😂😂😂😂. I may go back for some wax soon because I have this rig that is BEGGING to be used. I went on a shopping binge because it's one of the unfortunate things I do when I'm sad, but HOLY COW am I so happy I did cause I actually got cool stuff this time not just useless stuff. I'm thinking of opening an Etsy store. I crochet because internally I'm a 75 year old woman and I like making blankets. I'm thinking of selling my blankets. I do hand crochet and hook crochet so I think it's a good idea to put my talents to work. I feel like I can contribute better this way and I won't feel so useless since I have such a hard time working with people. Plus, crocheting really helps me mentally. I get to zone out and just focus on my project. So it's therapy and work at the same time! I'll post when the blankets are done. For now, enjoy some of my art and my cute new e-rig! Ttyl!