The People That shaped me

I've always believed that the people who you hang around can change you and I think I'm right. There was this one girl way back when I was younger, who didn't speak much, not because she couldn't she just didn't want to. She was pretty short, still is from when I last saw her in High-School, with dirty blond hair and the prettiest eyes I'd ever seen. Anyways, I thought she was the coolest person ever because of how well she could draw, and quite a few other things she could do. Now, I myself never learned how to draw but ever since I saw her do it, I was infatuated with art, I loved seeing it anywhere I went, even took a few shots at it but it's not something I'm built for. My love for all art forms comes from her. She's also what sparked my love for cats and reading, as she gave me the first series I'd read, besides Percy Jackson, which was called Warrior Cats, written by Erin Hunter. That changed so much about how I viewed cats. So when I saw art, cats, or even when I'm reading I would think of her and miss her. I still remember the Charizard she drew me, I wonder what she's up to. 

Another instance, in which, I'm not going to lie, pretty sure I fumbled my chances with, was this other girl I'd know since elementary school. She was the one who truly shaped my passion for reading, she'd talk to me about any books I spoke to her about, she even got me into fanfiction, but it was amazing talking to her. I remember one time in class, since I sat behind her, she leaned back and looked at me just to ask what I was reading, her hair covered my book a little so, I kind of pushed it out of the way, but I answered her question nonetheless. After that, she allowed me to play with her hair if I was bored or simply reading and wanted to fidget at the same time, which eventually evolved into me sitting next to her on the floor holding her hand while I read books. I was so sure she liked someone else that I never did anything with what was in front of me, instead I asked for book suggestions. 

Music is something that was always special to me, it connected me to brothers who were older than me by at least 4 years so there wasn't much I did with them but their music taste is my music taste, everything I like in music has some influence by them. I got Tyler The Creator from the brother closest in age, Frank Ocean from the second oldest brother, and my oldest brother gave me J.Cole, Kid Cudi, Kendrick, and Chance the Rapper. However, they weren't the only ones who gave me music, My ex, she gave me Daniel Caesar, and that changed my music taste DRASTICALLY, that was beautiful music, I hope she's doing okay and that she's happy, she gave me one of my most prized books that I own. 

My Cousin is the whole reason I even consider football as pastime, we grew up playing it together and sometimes we still do, when we see each other at reunions or parties we're both at. I haven't seen him in a while but he graduates soon, I can't believe it cause he gets into more trouble than I do and I almost got arrested. 

A little thing before I wrap this up, I met this one girl online from the other side of the world, I still can't get her out of my head, we played so many games together all the time, and she was always fun to talk to, even vent to because she allowed it, she had been having family troubles in the past and they came back for her and she gave her account away to a relative, but before she left she told me she loved me and that made me wonder if she knew how I felt. She's watched me play games, cook for both me and my dog, I even let her pick my clothes once or twice. Yet when I asked what she meant, she said she didn't want to fall in love again after the last time. And then she said it again before saying goodbye. I miss her and think about her a lot, more than anyone really.

The most important person to this has to be my best friend (who I haven't seen in 2 years), she's taken all of these things and brought them to a new level, and we have no problem liking different things, sometimes she'll even try new things just for me, and I try them for her too, she knows and where I draw the line and I know where she draws her line. I feel like she's the only one who will understand and be able to read my mind.   

There would be a more recent person but now that I think about it, I've had other people helping me with that already, so I didn't really need them to become better. I think I would have been healthier had I never met them. I'll keep posting here just cause though, this is a nice outlet to put my mind out. Maybe then, I'll understand why I do the things I do and to the people I do them. I know the answer to one but it was for the wrong reasons that hurt more than one person, and I'm pretty sure the intended target is fine. Flowers can bloom in cracks after all.