my troubles

i know i said all that good shit and i was putting my best foot foward but im ready for destruction right now... just one more time. nobody has to know... one more time off the deep end ... one more time living life like there is no tomorrow... one more time being reckless during this pandemic. ANYBODY can under stand that. Not to blame my problems on the world but why not. i cant stay sober, i cant stay happy, i cant do right so fuck it im here now and who knows for how long... they dont know what i go through.  yes im tispy again but nothing is looking up so lmao why not? im me and i cant fight it nomore i just wont... its in my genes .