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it used to be easy for me to really get into stuff. the music i liked, the anime i liked and the fandom surrounding it all used to be my whole world. now that im old(er) its almost impossible for me to get into new stuff and im never as invested as i used to be
id say im more muted or dull these days, maybe calloused? dont really get that spark of excitement in my gut as often and on the rare occasion that i do; i dont really have an outlet for it yaknow? my irl friends are not compatible with that side of me and ive lost touch with all of my old online friends over the years so i cant really ping pong off of them on the rare occasion where im like "man, i love touhou!". best ive got is daydreaming while on a jog or at work
am i just old? yeah, im 19. im for sure happier today than i used to be when i was 14 but i also miss being truly invested in something, sucks that the bogan boring adult version of me is winning the battle against the stupid alt autistic weeb teenager version me. i will always miss how natural and homely it felt spending every smidgeon of my free time yapping to strangers online about malice mizer, but i will NEVER miss everything else that came with being 14.. yuck.
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oceanbluehydrangeas
you'll always be a mizer gang you just in the senior squad now
and just at least in my own perspective
i have been someone that was super into music and shit
as a kid
not any artists in particular but there was this future bass musician called aika i rlly fw that
i grew up
was 18
shit didnt feel the same way i did as a kid
and thats alright
it just ultimately made myself do music now
and after a year of being semi good at it
i just look back and
make remixes/interpolations of thesongs i used to love ykwim
let that soul grow
is what im saying
oceanbluehydrangeas
and im saying this as a dude that has always conflicted w that "younger version" of self and yk being a new adult coming in terms w this "boring" shit
its just a facade. sure certain shit change but just cause u got older don't mean the shit that meant to you just stopped
its just a reminder for u to go next level so u can
move
yfm
end a chapter tye shi go to a new one
ur soul has always been ur soul
you're just better equipped now
oceanbluehydrangeas
nah
the child still lives
if the same shit that used to interest you or shit just don't anymore that just means
something else is out there
there's just always a more abstract more weird just shit u can find overall
ppls art being one thing
u just gotta look in different avenues
let urself grow a lil
Folgers™
You'll find your spark sometime
would be nice but im kinda doubtful atp, last bit of new ground i broke and got real into was when i got into malice mizer at 14, ive kinda been retreading old ground by just enjoying and simultaneously wearing out the same pool of stuff ever since without branching out any more
maybe its because shit got real at 14 and i had less headspace for that kinda stuff afterwards, who knows
by ancep (evil); ; Report