My love life

I'm a little heartbroken today. I love this boy in my class. He's truly kind to me, and sometimes he talks to me first, but in a friend's way. Compared to my friend (another girl in the same class), they have so much more proximity, they even have some physical touch (nothing flirty), and of course they talk all the time together. I'm so far from this level of complicity with him, it's demoralizing. He's so nice to me but he's clearly not interested in me. When he talks to me first, it's not a long conversation, and he doesn't send me messages except for homework, we don't have any giggles together, etc... . I was hoping because we kissed 2 months ago I had a chance with him, but I guess I made a mistake. That's really heartbreaking omg... Anyways, I don't think my friend (the girl) likes him but we never really know, and as for him I don't know what he thinks of her. If he likes her that's truly shameful, considering all the first steps I've taken to talk to him. Anyways, we're gonna suppose that he likes nobody at this point (and I'm convinced that the girl doesn't like him).

Tomorrow night I'm going out with friends and I know he'll be there. I've waited for this night for 2 months, that's so much. I've done sports, skincare, shopping, taken food supplements... to be pretty that night. But today, the day before that evening, I'm so demoralized. We don't have the same friend group, and the night consists of just going to clubs in the city. Therefore, I'm not even sure to meet him, because we might go to different clubs. But, him, he'll spend all the night drunk with the girl and their other friends. Even if I meet them, I don't know if I'll stay and talk more than 2 minutes before I feel out of place and leave.

But in my heart, I still want to try tomorrow night. But I don't want it to be obvious that I love him or to force it too much. If he doesn't want me that's okay, I just want to try a little bit more but I think I've tried enough. I really don't know what to do at this point. I thought he liked me for a short time, I guess that was too long ago and by acting nonchalant I've lost the tiny flame we had. I don't know what to think.