I'm so bipolar

like one second i'm all positive and sweet. And then at night when i'm alone i start crying about that no one listens to my original songs or like no one rlly seem to care abt my music stuffs. and when i start try to rent abt it to my frds they just don't rlly know what to reply. and i'm afraid ill scare them away. i feel very miserable atp??? i cant let my parents know this too. Cuz i used to sh but i refused to see a psychiatrist (GUYS DON'T MIND THE GRAMMAR IM JUST CRASHING OUT ATP SHUT UP). And i've been doing good for months but lately i can feel my emotions are trying to drag me into that phase again. but that WILL NOT happen. What should i do?