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I'm scared. I've been thinking about this for months. About growing up, moving out, getting a job. But it's terrifying. I've been struggling with the process of getting older. I'm so strong now, tall, muscular, and I can cook and clean. That's good in a 17 year old right? I've been thinking about this for a bit now. The growth I've been going through for so long culminating into me getting cold feet? I want to get bigger, stronger. But I'm afraid of what I must do and of what will happen in the process.
There's nothing I'm more scared of than being completely out of control and powerless in matters involving me. I've never been one to be so fearful but I just can't help it at all. If only there could just be an easy way for everything. That's be ideal. My ideal is a easy path to everything, and to show others that the self is all thats needed. But I don't think anyone would really wanna listen and hear that the only solution to their problems is themselves.
Is it so terrible to say such things? To fear the inevitable that will only be good for me and all else? Sometimes I just want things to stay the same, and for no change to ever happen. But I yearn for progress at the same time. I can't stand being like this, I wish to be able to see things clearly. Maybe what I need to see clearly again lies in the future I'm so anxious about. I wouldn't know. Actually I would know, wouldn't I?
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•°《~vrpndt~》°•
i don't know what your situation is so this might not be too useful, but i think it's really important to remember that you won't (or shouldn't) be left to fend for yourself the moment you turn 18. again i don't know what your life is like, but i hope there's no pressure to move out and work and support yourself so soon.
it sounds like you're doing well for yourself, though !! being able to cook and clean is important generally, but its most important for taking care of yourself. being an adult isn't about progressing in the world - its also about learning what you need both physically and mentally, and being able to get that, and you won't have to do that alone just because you'll have turned 18!! its unfair to expect you to be able to do everything by yourself immediately which is why is important to have a good support system :> this can be friends or family or whatever else.
you're right that power and control comes from within for the most part- but you can't carry everything on your shoulders. sometimes things are out of your control, and that's just life. i think its important for you to make peace with that - blaming yourself for things out of your control is one of the worst feelings. when some things go wrong, you need to understand that there's so many factors that you can't have control over all at once !! and that's normal !! but what you can control is how you respond, and that comes with experience and advice from others who have been in the same position mostly.
at some point you'll struggle, pretty much everyone does, and its normal to be scared and nervous too. speaking from experience, turning 18 isn't as big a change as most people make it out to be - especially with supportive people around (even just a few) you'll make it through just fine i'm sure !! things will change eventually, but it'll be slow and you can take it as it comes :>
-- from a 19yr old who also had these worries
Thank you for this. Not many notice more care about such things. You're right, all it is is a number changing really. Take care, yeah?
by RevDarkst; ; Report
thanks, and you too :>
by •°《~vrpndt~》°•; ; Report