I hate this

everything keeps happening I cant deal with all of this anymore. it's been the same for years, yearning for peace just to be forced to live a life where we suffer for a tiny spark of joy that quickly disappears. It's not worth it, it will never be worth it. tiny things that bring me joy have to be hidden. it will be bad if they find out. and I'll just be stuck here pushing my body around, waiting to finally sleep just for it to be tomorrow. but one day I hope there is none and I'll no longer be real.