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I’m so tired… it’s honestly exhausting being around my mom. I hate her so much, I don’t even know how anyone could put up with someone like that.

Well, I don’t hate her that much, like sometimes I do like being with her. But this week and last week? Yeah, not one of those times. She’s been ignoring me, yelling at me, and getting mad at me for no reason.

Today we went to this kinda small concert, and I didn’t have a good time but I didn’t have a bad time either, it was just… idk, how do I say it? Frustrating?

There was also like this little fair with stuff I wanted to buy, ‘cause it’s always the same stands and I already knew what I wanted. And I don’t really like changing plans tbh… I told her what we were gonna do and she agreed. The plan was to go early, like around 4:00–4:30, ‘cause we were gonna watch the concert and then go buy stuff. But we ended up going at like 6:50, we saw the singer and didn’t get to buy anything.

I got really frustrated and mad. I didn’t talk to her or anything ‘cause if I did I was just gonna get more mad, and I felt like I was gonna hit that point where you cry out of anger, you know?

Then she asked me what was wrong and I didn’t answer, sometimes I just said “nothing.” At one point she said she was gonna get mad, and I was like “why?” and she grabbed my arm and pulled me away from people. She kept asking what was wrong and got really mad, which just made me more mad, and I started crying out of frustration.

She kept insisting so much that I told her if I didn’t wanna tell her something, she shouldn’t pressure me, ‘cause if she did, I wouldn’t tell her anything anymore. I didn’t say it as a threat, just like… trying to explain what was going on in my head at that moment. And I told her that every time she pushes me to tell her things, it’s like she loses a bit of the trust I have in her.

She got really mad and went off with my sister, and I stayed with my stepdad. I talked with him the whole way and I calmed down. But when my mom saw that, she got even more mad ‘cause I actually get along with him.

Now I’m sitting in a food place right next to her, and it’s just… super uncomfortable :/

22/03/26

- 9:25

Mood (⁠╯⁠︵⁠╰⁠,⁠)