me vs. every eyeliner

why the hell is my black eyeliner pen BLUE? it says black on the container, it said black on the package, but it's BLUE. 

so i thought, "oh, i have my cream liner, i'll just use that". NO. it's bone dry. opened like a month ago and it's BONE DRY.

so i look for my pencil liner. gone with the wind. no where to be found.

i had to use black eyeshadow instead, but it all rubbed off and turned grey in, like, an hour.

the universe just doesn't want me to look cool i guess.