last hour being 17 years old. ok birthday to me

im just scared. i dont want to grow up, and i dont want to deal with how the world is right now. i feel like i was born tired and the older i get the more fed up with it i get. dont get me wrong, im excited for my future. im just terrified. 

ive never... done this before? i never thought i was going to do this. i dont know what to do now, if its this bad right now imagine how horrid itll be when im actually old. the passage of time is terrifying.

happy birthday to me. and to everyone this year and last year and all the years that didnt make it to their birthday to celebrate, i hope you all have a happy birthday once the date arrives. i dont want to fear aging, and i think im going to work towards embracing it rather than fearing it. it will just take time. 

to all of you who are still with us to experience your birthdays, may yours this year be joyous and fun. i have a feeling mine is going to be ok. ok birthday to me.