Hospital room...

Hello Everyone!

I am currently writing this from a hospital room. By the grace of God, my grandma has been moved from the ICU to a regular room. I just need to vent so this is the format in which I choose to do so. Last night (About 24 hours ago) my Grandma was admitted to the hospital. Initially I was not allowed to go to the hospital, until the morning that is. Upon my arrival, I noticed that she was already better than she was last night from what I heard. She was able to talk to me, last night she was only able to give one word replies. I have seen how much better she's been getting, yet I a, still drowning in a weird kind of guilt. It's like I feel like I should be helping, while also knowing that I am not trained to help. The most I can do to help her is sit here. I hope my presence is as calming to her as hers is to me. I hope that being here helps as much as I think it does. One thing I have observed is her demeanor. Through this entire process she has never lost hope, she has never lost the will to keep on going, and it's admirable to say the complete least. I hope that when I'm old and grey I can be as strong and trusting in my faith as she is. Through all of her health struggles she has always just said that she's gonna pray her way through it and it's working. They've been telling her that she's gonna die for almost 6 years now and she has never lost her will to fight. That kind of strength is unimaginable. She has never once decided that she was gonna die. The doctors did, but she didn't. I truly hope she never gives up, I hope she can always be confident in her health as she is now, and I hope she can at least be able to see me graduate. Anyways, every night that I spend in a hospital room I'm gonna pot a blog, so stay tuned!