something you'd write while listening to marvin gaye

I don't know why I write today. today of all days, casual routine laced with limerence. A nostalgia for a broken home in broken bird wings. To quote a great novelist, "within and without." I am two souls feuding in one vessel. Possession. Both parts equally unhappy, equally betrayed and fearful, both grasping at the light near the end of the tunnel--light of limerence. Shimmers of hope on a waterfront that gleams with hidden memories. Again, I am split down the middle. Two halves of two people; wholly unfulfilled. Fulfillment and purpose sunken under the oceans waves like buried treasure. Treasure only brings surface levels of joy, never further then muscle. It isn't worth plunging into the depths for. I cannot risk my life for something of benefit--only for deceit. Deceit is a broken home where my songbirds of limerence sing somberly. Foolishness is the address in the town of Naivety. I won't leave the safety of it--there is too much comfort in betrayal.

edit: Im unsure how to articulate how badly I miss what I once had. Limerence. Again. Maybe it'll come to me every fifteen years. Maybe it'll solve all the nonsense in my head and return me to etheralism. Perhaps I rekindle with the parts of me at the ocean depth. Like the Mariana, I wish to feel that deeply one day again.