digital diary 6

it's already been nearly another month, hasn't it? time seems to fly. i'm really bad about consistency, if you hadn't noticed.

winter has yet to let up. it'll be warm here and there, and then the snow returns. it's dreadful. but i like the snow. it's pretty.

haven't had much to do or think about. went through working at the barn and my dad's firm for a few days. the barn was nice. i can see myself in that life, there. it's simple. i understand the trees and the animals and the wind rushing past me. there's no electronic humming or hustle there. i can't romanticize it too much, though. half of it was just shoveling horse shit. but i don't mind it.

i was sick the first day i was supposed to be at my dad's firm. the other two were fine. sat in on calls, wrote a complaint. i like my dad. we're good friends. we're similar people: after all, i get half of my genes from him.

now i'm on spring break. i've just been sitting on my ass like a bum all day. it's ok though. that's what breaks are for. actually, i've already just been on sort of a vacation.

there was a bad wind storm where i live. took out a lot of trees, and then powerlines. nearly every local business and house was out of power, including my own. the electricians were saying it might take a day, so my dad booked a cheap room out in the big city. about a 2 hour drive. went to the zoo. i like the zoo (when it's ethical, at least). i like species asides from my own more sometimes. saw grizzly bears sleeping up close to the glass. it was mesmerizing, feet away from something that could rip me to shrapnel. and yet so adorable, so precious. like a stuffed animal to cuddle with.

the big city is neat. we didn't really go downtown. pardon my vagueness about where i live, but i'm paranoid about that sort of thing. i get it from my mother, that endless anxiety.

i've started anew online. abandoned old things i wasn't proud of. saying hello to people again. cleaning up my act. i know it's truly not that serious, but i want to be responsible about that. i want to be a person.

drawing my dumb little band mascots, as always. created an entire story around these drawings, with no real "lore" behind them. it's the fucking radiohead bear. there's no story. i'm just pulling things out of my ass. but go to my toyhouse if you want to see that. this place is for the real world.

speaking of radiohead, ed o brien has announced a new album, along with it's first single. it is absolutely amazing. i love it, and i think this shows a sort of hope for radiohead if they decide to make more music.

been watching the pitt, season 2. every thursday, with my family. i frankly prefer the first season, but it's still quite good. i've sort of fixated on oglivie. i see the kind of worst of myself in him. we're both awkward, sometimes unempathetic, perhaps have a need to impress, show we're smart. that's just called being an autistic dude, i suppose. i guess the difference between me and him is that i'm somewhat aware of these flaws in myself. whatever. you get the point.

that's all. i don't want to go back to school. and have to talk to people for 7 hours. it'll be ok, though: summer is soon.

goodbye. goodnight. see you sometime soon.