noticing things

ive started to notice this pain in my jaw and foot, and ive noticed the pain in my back is getting worse. Ive noticed my eyes feel heavier and my movements slower, my cheeks hurt from biting them and my eyes hurt from staying awake all day and night. i cant really walk anymore cause of the pain on my foot and that caused me to become basically bed ridden for a bit, during that ive noticed how my hair feels on my skin, and ive noticed my wrists hurt from what i can only assume is overworking it; ive noticed just how far i need to reach, and just how little i’ve progressed, ive noticed all my shortcomings and ive noticed my problems lie with me and my inability to change. Ive noticed i am a horrible person.