It’d be easier if the love wasn’t there

I wish I hated you, or at least fell out of love. I wish I wasn’t me and you were anyone else on earth. I wish being friends was as easy as being lovers, and that love didn’t just hang stale and heavy in the air around me. Your smile and laugh and glances over at me make me sick, a kind of sick I can feel like a weight on my chest and an ache down in my bones. I wish I didn’t care, because I don’t think I should. It shouldn’t matter this much, and I know it only does because you’ve been the only one.