Weird feeling

Everyone wants to be something but I deep down know that I wanna be nothin... sometimes it comes up n take a peek in the surface n gos back... sometimes I wish it was never there in the first place and sometimes I'm glad that I even got it and never want it to fade... want it to stay...to not be just a guest but stay here... live here... with me and not run back... just as it is, raw and fully of agony and disparity but at the same time full of joy and happiness...