hahaaha identity crisis <3

todays crisis is : gender 🧐

for the random people that come across my page ive tried to make my identity ambiguous and ive started to keep it that way bc of this issue. well i wouldn't say its an issue more of confusion. but with the way ive kinda set stuff up i feel like i present fem wayyy more than masculine like the only think that indicates i could be a guy is my pfp. idk where the whole gender crisis thing started i just started to feel such a strong desire to be masc??? idk i want to present as a guy and be percived that way. oh me litrally writing this is giving away my gener, damn. oh well im pretty sure it was obvious by my layout and way i talk. but with wanting to present male i still have such an attatchment to being feminine and keeping that style. i feel days of frustration from not being able to look the way i want and others adoring the way i look. like i love myself but whenever i try to look like a guy i litrally waanna puke vomit cry collapse on floor and evaporate _{(exaggeration)} but really i feel like my features are too soft to pass masc and the way i speak and write just feels feminine and that the way i present myself doesn't matter. online wise i wanted to maintain that control and whatever people thought was correct and i didn't want to stick to what i always am but idk. this may or may not be cis thinking 🧐🧐🧐🧐🧐 but whatever im just gonna stick to the way i am bc on the offdays that i litrally hate myself i can just try to suck it up. or i might just be lying to myself about the fact im content with my crisis bc people will be upset ive changed my "pretty" look and i need validation...damn. sorry for dropping that on you guys *is talking to an empty room* tbh refer to me how ever i have a handful of names and whatever you associate with em is how you can refer to me, what we have lilith,lainey,luciel and uhh man...millkii so 🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪. also the new pfp is of my personas, its a boy and a girl (they are the same person) so its can at least give the person a decent choice...

oh but i did draw a picture so if you just wanna my doodles here

androgyny...i need   _{want to be boy AND girl...(colorized)}