THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING ELDEST DAUGHTER

My name is Shanara Hainz, 17 years old. A senior high school students, living in San Jose Del Monte, Bulacan. Before I start, "you probably thinking what is it all about." To began my story I just want to share how my life goes on as a eldest daughter in our family.

Many people knows me as a nonchalant person, kinda funny, friendly, loves to explore the world and what so ever but they don't know my struggles and challenges in life. To make it short, they just recognize by my actions towards people that surrounds me. But I'll just prepared to hide my feeling rather than telling someone how I truly feel. That’s why I keep showing that I’m happy, pretending that I have no personal problems, so others will think that I’m chill, calm and living a happy life. But on the other hand, in reality of life I am an "ate" to my youngest brother. The one who are expected to help my parents to carry some of responsibilities in our family. 

At the young age, I realized the important role of being eldest daughter with many family expectations. Even though, I have my personal struggles such as self development, low self-esteem, academic problems, and social pressure; I can't easily figure out my struggles because I need to be strong and stand on my own without always depending to others, not only for myself but for the sake of our family. Also I am the who are expected to be more responsible, has a good decision-making, guiding and watching over my brother even to help with those household chores at home.

As I grow up, I have many realizations that helps me to build my strength, faith and hope that I used to move forward and become a better person. As a eldest daughter, I learned how to properly handle my youngest brother through experiences and guidance from our parents. I am the one attending his school events every time our parents wasn't able to attend because of the hectic schedule of work. My parents trusted me for taking care of my brother cause they know I have enough knowledge and experiences that I am applying in my daily life. 

My mother always told me I need to learned basic household chores, become independent and responsible to be a good role model to my youngest brother. And besides, my mother tells me how they're life hard way back then. As a daughter, I understand the pain and sacrifices of my mother to stop studying and choose to find a work before to sustain every single day. In my mother's story, struggles of their life started when my grandfather died because of his disease and my grandmother can't afford to provide enough financially to her 9 childrens. That's why every time my mother shared her personal experience I always listen with understanding and I always imagined trying to put myself into her situation to feel the pain and relate myself to challenges she experienced.

Despite of all struggles that came into our family, I am deeply express my gratitude towards my parents as my primary source of strength to keep going everyday even if it's hard and for not giving me a pressure about how my life goes on. They support and allowed me choose what I wanted for myself especially for choosing the program I want to take in college. For me I could say my family is almost perfect because I felt my comfort, care for one another, respected and to be loved by them. Everytime I doubt for myself, they are the one who always believe that I can succeed. I am thankful to my parents for support me physically, mentally and financially and for making everything possible in my life. Everyday, I am trying my best to performed as a good daughter that already learned from all of my experiences.