Gender/Body dysphoria (tw)

tw: cursing

Why must I be reminded every waking second of my life that I was born a female? Is it too much to ask for me to not have to hide myself for the comfort of others? 

I know i was born a female, I know because everytime I run my chest hurts, I know because everytime i'm naked all I see is the body of a girl, I FUCKING KNOW I WAS BORN A FEMALE. AND I'M REMINDED EVERY WAKING SECOND, I CAN NEVER HAVE A CONVERSATION WITHOUT MY SEX BEING BROUGHT UP. "THE REASON YOU'RE LIKE THIS IS BECAUSE YOU'RE BIOLOGICALLY-" I. KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. I KNOW. WHY CAN I NEVER HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITHOUT MY GENDER BEING BROUGHT UP, WITHOUT ME HAVING TO BE VERBALLY REMINDED IM FEMALE. I ALREADY SEE IT PHYSICALLY. I DONT NEED A REMINDER. AND IT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS TO ANY CIS PERSON I KNOW. ALWAYS ME. I'M JUST TRYING TO LIVE. TRUST ME I KNOW I'M FEMALE BIOLOGICALLY WHY DO YOU NEED TO TELL ME AS IF I'LL EVER FORGET. I CANNOT FORGET IT. I NEVER WILL BE ABLE TO. It hurts more coming from someone I love so deeply... I hate it. I've started to avoid knowing my own native language because there's no gender neutral pronouns in it and I can't tell my parents to use male ones since they're hardcore christian homophobes. I've avoided being in the same room as any family when they talk because they always refer to me as "la niña" (the girl) instead of my name. why do i even have a name? i don't need a constant reminded i'm female... i just want to be treated with respect and be able to live freely...