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Stumbled upon a video on my youtube recommendations that touched on the subject of people not knowing how to dress anymore, and it gave me food for thought.
The side the uploader is on is obviously that people don;'t dress appropriately anymore, because they don't read the room and account for the occasion.
The other side makes the point that it's freedom of expression and we shouldn't police style.
Both of these sound reasonable, but to me both these sides lack nuance and go too far in their rhetoric.
The "freedom" side, as i will dub it here,advocates for showing up to funerals in sexy dresses or attending work or family friendly events in your sexiest outfits.
Meanwhile, the first side thinks shorts (even ones that fall right over the knee) isn;t "work appropriate".
So here's my 2-cents. Should you be showing up at Disney World like you're going to try and get Donald in bed with you? No. But unless your ass or boobs aren't hanging for dear life to stay under your clothes, I don't see the issue. this is a generalization of course, and some events have a more "strict" moral dress-code. I love dressing like an eccentric character from a children's book or cartoon on a daily basis, but you won't see me pulling up like that at a funeral.
I probably won't pull up like that at work either, unless it makes sense. For example, me showing up to (non-dress) rehearsals in my cutest cartooniest outfit or wearing my usual weird style as an an activity leader works.
Now if i were to work as an attorney, I see why i'd want to tune it way down. However, this is where while I understand that there is an expectation of me doing that, I disagree. Why couldn't I dress fun? Why should that indicate that I'm not serious about my job, or not taking the matter seriously?
And this is an edge case where I could be swayed: a speed ticket and a murder don't hold the same moral dress-code.
However, i and others have been told off for stupid things for normal ass jobs, like retail or secretary work.
Like I'm sorry but if my shorts doesn't let my ass show when i bend over to pick up something, i don't see why they're not work appropriate, especially when it's summer and it's 30 degrees Celsius.
I've been told my outfits (toned waaaay the fuck down still) were "too busty". I was wearing a normal dress shirt and cardigan. It's not my fucking fault my chest is noticeable, they're big, like what the fuck is that? Am I supposed to tape or bind everyday? Cause let me tell you, that's not healthy nor comfortable to work in for long periods of time.
I've also seen friends get rejected for wearing what is formal to their culture.
The issue here is that societal norms are way out of control here. A simple way to put what's reasonable in current society would be to reign it back both ways. "Appropriate" should be covering up private parts (counting avoiding purposefully tight stuff) and being mindful of the emotional implications of the time/place/event for other people. That's it.
Example: a wedding. Follow the couple's dress code, it's their day and they want it to be magical. Emotional implications aren't just negative.
I've also got a whole train of thoughts about how this would look in my ideal society, but that's for a more political blog post X)
Comments
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salmandra
Also, this subject it's always focused on women. If you can't focus bc I have a body, that's on you lol (for example wearing a simple dress and such)
Oh absolutely! And asked, most of the time it's to not distract the teachers. Like SORRY WHAT?? Not my fault if your adult men teachers are preds like??
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
Yess. If the teacher is distracted bc of a skirt, he's gonna be distracted with baggy jeans too lol
by salmandra; ; Report
PixelGamerGurl
I completely agree with this. There’s always going to be those more formal events (weddings, funerals, etc) that will require certain things, but besides from that, as long as all the parts are covered up and all it shouldn’t be too much of an issue (I say that as my school that I attend has no dress code at all and I’ve seen people wear some bizarre things for a school environment).
As a rebellious teen I once wore a unicorn headband to school. We did have a dress code (only specifiying to be dressed "modestly" and my autistic ass had no idea what they meant by that-still don't tbh) but since i wasn't dressed "sexy" and was always on my best behavior they let it slide; proving to me that this is all social norm bullshit but yk X)
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
A unicorn headband? Honestly, love that. Yeah, the whole social norms thing sucks ass, especially as a teenager who happens to want to wear different outfit styles (punk, gothic, clown core, etc), but doesn’t because I don’t like getting judged by people based on stupid social norms :(
by PixelGamerGurl; ; Report
Ough I get u :(
Only reasons I got the guts to do so were theatre and, well, i was already being made fun of for my weight and "weird quirks" (aka autistic traits) so I figured "might as well be made fun of for something in my control"—didn't dress like that for those reasons, but they made me have the bravery to do so
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
That’s awful that you were made fun of things that weren’t out of your control…at least you have the bravery to wear what you want tho
by PixelGamerGurl; ; Report
T (22)
I also agree both ways. I HATE how it's normalized to wear pajamas in public nowadays
but also retail not allowing its workers to wear jeans because it's "too casual" is bull. Something like this can never have a strict line of what is or isn't appropriate because of the nature of fashion and it being so different person to person. There probably are things most people can agree on, like a skin tight leather dress to a funeral though
Exactly! I will say, my family is guilty of the pajama thing- only for mail or emergency store run when sick though XD
by Kai The Foley; ; Report
Kritz
Just have everyone wear full suits all the time
That'd be pretty funny actually
by Kai The Foley; ; Report