Addressed to the 40mg of fluoxetine melting in my pocket

Hi everybody i'm retarded victim whining again you asked me if I care and it's the same question my mother asked me when I was 11 and she broke that glass over her head and I never apologised I walked out and maybe somewhere if I really try I can feel some kind of remorse and I've tried but if you've ever tried to hold your breath to take your own life you'll know what I mean. I want you to hurt me, I'd nail myself to a cross but I can't find one heavy enough to hold the weight of my repulsively huge ego. I won't look down on myself because when my neck is bent you'll step on me and get to a place I can't reach. I want you to listen when i tell you this because I won't even admit it to myself but a lot of the time it is difficult for me to live with myself because I remember all the things that I've done and if I sit too long and think about it I'll hate myself as much as you hate me. I'm not a victim I hate that word, in all and any way I am the perpetrator so don't think I feel sorry for myself, because I show myself the same empathy I show to everybody else fair is square that way. If i love you enough, I'll leave you alone because I can see the future, I look up how the movie ends because I'm scared somebody will spoil it for me. I've typed out a lot of things but I can't really figure what to say next. I think I want to end this by saying that I love you and i had to look up the definition of that to make sure, and I want you to get far away from me, so you know I mean what I say. I want to lie down in your disdain and I want to you to look down on me but I want a lot of things so let's hope the tooth fairy has enough time and I have enough teeth.