aint it fun.../why have i done so little?

ive lived and continue to live an extremely privileged life. my family's always provided so much more than i could even think of. theyve been good to me. i've, more or less, had people i could call friends for most parts of my life. i'd like to think so, anyway. everything's been a total breeze, and all of a sudden with adulthood around the corner, i realise i've never developed the grasp in life that other people (at least show that they) have. people have dreams? people consciously worry and get excited about tangible things??? 

so, fine... whatever, i'm just slow to come to realise things in life. SCARILY slow... (and it's a terror i wouldn't wish on anybody, for multiple reasons). i can deal with that, yknow, i deal with stuff as it comes.

but,,,,,,,,,,, how? i feel pretty bloody pretentious, seeing people around me going through tough times, tough lives they don't deserve, and injustice i used to see on the telly and be shocked at. they're doing great, maybe better than me,  and im extremely happy for them . why wouldnt i !? but then it makes me wonder; why have i done so little? have i really done anything at all? am i just undermining myself? dunno. life n that.