And suddenly i miss you

Am i allowed to miss you? Can i have that regret?

I wish he didn't tell me. I wish i didn't know im never going to see your again. To hug you again. To speak to you again. Never will i coincidentally find you where i am. I wish i didnt know. I wish he didnt tell me

I miss you

And it hurts more because i punish myself for it. I hurt you. I can't imagine how you felt. I lied to you(the dates don't match!!!) I hurt you, i attacked you and tried to erase you out of my life

But then i remember.

I hurt you because i wanted to hurt myself

I just wish youre well

I hope youre fine

I want to hear about your day

But id never have the courage to talk to you again. 

I cry wishing you had a good day

Hope you have a lot of good days and that the earth comforts you so they can heal you from me

BI hope you find better friends

I hope they treat tou well

I hope they treat you better than i did

About destroying (burning) your things

I chose to brutally remove you from my life and then suffer in the future over healing slowly

I hope the sun smiles to you

I hope youre safe

I hope youre better

I wish you nothing but joy and that makes me so so so sad miserable even

I hope this eases me so i can sleep