Life as an Autistic Girl in 2026

So, I have no clue when this became normalized. But, why is autism so romanticized in today's society?? Like, why do people wanna have autism, this shit is not fun.

Like, no my hyperfixations are not silly. I genuinely cannot work without them. All of my stationary and notebooks for my college classes are related to my special interest because if I cannot think about my special interest or have it on standby, I cannot focus or work. I also have to be able to look at stuff relating to my special interest(s) and hyperfixations constantly throughout the day or I'll be too overwhelmed and have a meltdown. 

What also sucks is that I have a hard time being out in public. Lights are either too bright or too dim. Though, I prefer too dim. Or it's too loud and there's too many new smells. Not to mention I have a very hard time socializing with new people because I have no clue what they want me to do or say or how they want me to act. It's a lot easier for me to handle online, at least I can think things through before I type. Most people just. expect me to spout whatever nonsense they want me to say.

I also can't eat jello or anything resembling it. The texture is too gross and food should not wiggle. 

Another thing is, autistic women in particular are like romanticized to hell and back now. Like, gross as hell???? It's all fun and games until I crash out and have a full blown meltdown because I couldn't bring my comfort plushie with me. I keep a small plushie of my comfort character in my purse so if I need to regulate my emotions or calm down, I can hold her and fidget with her.

this shit is so alienating. no you do not want autism. my life is a living hell and it feels like im all alone. If anybody can remotely relate and/or provide a explanation on why this shit is so romanticized. Feel free to chime in. I would appreciate it immensely.