ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whyyyy

i won't care about my errors with grammar or typos like last time. sooo... actually i don't think that anyone will read this cause why tf would someone? but i'll keep it public bc i've a little bit of hope that somebody will actually read this unlike last time. so things these days are so confusing: one day i have good grades and the next i get the worst grade ever possible, my classmates continue to kind of ragebaiting me idk how to say it but i hate it so much, exept for like one single classmate, i genuenly care about him and i wish him the best in life. i cannot even vent to my friends idk why i just think that since i'm introverted i don't have a close relationship with them and idk i feel like a failure just by wirting what i just wrote. and then there's HER. it's really complicate my relationship with her i think it's called a situationship but idk what that means so i'll try to explain it: i like her, she likes me (i think), but she's going through a rough period so we're not together. i don't want to ask her if she still likes me because it would sound really weird or at least in my mind it is. She is the only person i've been thinking about for months, i fucking love her and i would give everything just to be with her. the other day i took the bus and leaved one stop early just to talk to her for 1 minute and then she hugged me, it was the best fucking feeling i felt since i can remember. then i proceeded to walk to school by foot under the rain which took me around 50 minutes and my back still hurts because i also ran while holding my heavy backpack on my shoulders but it was so worth it. just seeing her for that single minute, walk like 10 meters together and then hugging is more than enough for me. the thing is also that she's like me, she has the same music tastes as me, the same insecurities, same humor etc. the only thing that i'm afraid of is that she hasn't the same feelings about me anymore like i don't know what would i do if she doesn't feels the same anymore. anddd that's it i guess, just wanted to get this off my chest. if anyone will read this then i'm sorry that you're learning about me this way.