This fucking sucks

Hi! Haven't seen you guys in a while! (literally because of me, dw) This is a quick upload cause im at my college and im really bored tbh, not in class, just came because of some stuff with the tuition. I missed writing here tbh, but i dont think i have too much to talk about, i just finished one of the longest summers i've ever had, not because it was actually long, but because i didn't do shit, i have never felt so much time been thrown away like this in my life, i hated that, i was so useless that i didnt do shit. 

Well i actualy did one thing, i got back with my ex, and broke with her, all the stories about this woman can be infinite, lets call her Ava, but the most important is that she was the most important. In summary we just never worked, we loved each other a lot but we just could never make it work, last time we just stoped talking for a year, but i think the both of us knew it was a matter of time. Then at the ending of last year we meet up again, we both missed each other so much. We made the promise that we would try it one last time but if it didnt worked out we would never try it again, and try it we did, we really did. I can accept that she made me see a part of me i though was dead a long time ago, and i can say that she learned to enjoy a little bit more again, she's such a beautiful girl, and i can see that we helped each other, but at the same time we just didnt match well. Either we were a couple and we fought, or we were friends and we flirted with each other. 

So we not only decided to break up, but we decided to stop talking, we noticed that we were just too codependent and that if we kept talking even as friends it would just damage the rest of our relationships. 

This fucking sucks. Im actually okay with this, we talked about it, we were reasonable about this, we searched every way to make it work and we came to the logical conclusion that it wouldnt work, thats what fucking sucks, that genuinly, it doesn't matter how much we wanted it, we just didn't fuckin work. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE.

Honestly, it bothers me so much how stupid is this situation, cause i cant do shit, like, this is the best way for both of us, im actually happy and okay, and ik she is too, i can finally move on from that relationship after so much but its just unfair that when i loved somebody we're just not meant to be. 

omg idk how this came to this point, im actually not upset, i really loved her, but this is just the best way, its just so funny how the only time something happens to me, instead of having the oportunity of being stupid and happy we ended up being smart and alone.

I loved Ava and she still has an special place in my heart, hope she's okay. Im walking forward now, not as quick as i would like to but i am walking, thank you.