Nostalgia is a violent thing sometimes

I'm turning thirty next month.
Many of my friends this age have some variation of, "I didn't think I'd make it this far," but that just doesn't seem to be the case for me. When I was a kid, I never imagined myself, say, dead by eighteen or twenty-five. The thing is I never imagined myself alive, either. I'm turning thirty with a beautiful husband who's my best friend, in a beautiful country after finally having escaped my home state, making modest (anything is a lot to me) money in a job I quite like. I did all the things I never thought I'd do, when now suddenly, all I can think about is how to make myself feel the way I felt when I was younger.
Realistically, my childhood was not a great one. I know that if by some force of magic, I got the chance to relive those years it still would not change the horrible parts about it. Because those parts were not my fault. I was a child; I had no power to change them. I probably wouldn't be able to even if I reappeared there.
I guess what I'm really missing is an ideal version of everything I experienced. It's no wonder then that the bulk of my nostalgia exists online, within internet spaces and forum-type communities. Browser games like GaiaOnline speak to me even now. Newgrounds, YTMND. Oh, all those dress up game websites. The AMVs I have watched since 2006. Last but not least, the ever growing plethora of fandom sites I still recall.
There's a healthy way to go about this. One where I don't get stuck grieving the past and can still live presently. It's absolutely no use losing out on my current life just to spite the loss of my old one.
I've decided, most recently, to get back into cosplay. To accompany my friends to anime conventions for the first time in many years would be a dream. I've also started looking into the alt fashion of yore, what parts of it still look familiar to me, what parts don't, and what I can incorporate into my daily dress. Thirdly, and perhaps most obvious, I've been listening to a LOT of music which resonated with me back then. It still does. 
If you've read this far, thanks. Not actually sure what the point of it was but I feel a little better having typed all this out. I'll try and keep you updated if the anime convention stuff goes to plan.