09.03.2026: lover's drama and other things

Sorry I've been gone so long. 

It's been an emotionally intense couple of days. Last year I fell in love with someone I thought I was going to marry. But then he went missing in Morocco. He turns up again, having lost my number but finding it again through an iPhone back up. We have a call, he tells me he wants to marry me, I'm the woman for him, and he wants to grow old with me. We're supposed to meet the next day, but then he ghosts me. We have another call — and I'm fucking pissed at him; six months and I don't know whether he's alive or dead and then he fucking ghosts me when we're supposed to meet again — and I can tell he's in a really bad space. His life is falling apart and he's using the idea of marriage with me as a bandaid solution to give his life meaning. My last few messages to him haven't been delivering but that's for the better because I realise now there's nothing left to bark at up that tree. 

It's all alright though because things have escalated with the guy from Substack. He's coming to Austria in a few weeks, and I'm so excited. He really makes me happy and he treats me so well. He's an absolute sweetheart 💖. 

Some other things I've been up to: 

University has started again. I need to lock the fuck in, and I think I've been doing a good job. 

My commissioned artists also sent me a first sketch of his idea for my book cover and I'm so excited!! It's going to look great! I have to get going, slowly, on that. 

It's also coming up to the time where I really need to start planning my best friend's bachelorette party.

So much to do!

My dad is moving to Vienna. We went to Ikea and bought me a much-needed shelf. 

My doctor has been holding my medication hostage, which has made it hard for me to sit still and do anything for more than a few minutes. I hate when my disability disables me! D:< But hopefully I can get them today. I really fucking hope so. 

This morning I saw a crow perched on the roof. 

I think I'm handling things okay. I think things will turn out alright. One step at a time, one day at a time!

Idk when it's spring, life just feels so hopeful! :D 

x Moa 

09.03.2026